{"id":652,"date":"2016-05-26T10:39:47","date_gmt":"2016-05-26T14:39:47","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/?p=652"},"modified":"2017-07-26T14:41:08","modified_gmt":"2017-07-26T18:41:08","slug":"im-insulted-we-havent-talked-about-this-sooner","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/2016\/05\/26\/im-insulted-we-havent-talked-about-this-sooner\/","title":{"rendered":"I\u2019m Insulted We Haven\u2019t Talked about This Sooner"},"content":{"rendered":"

By: Sydney Vollmer<\/em><\/p>\n

When the stupid *$&@___ in front of you in line can\u2019t make up their *@($-ing mind, don\u2019t you just want to pull out your hair and tell them what an %*$%&*! they\u2019re being? But you can\u2019t. Why? Because there are children around. And because we live in a \u201ccivilized\u201d society where doing such things would get you kicked out. After all, you just want your #$*(-ing coffee! Four letter words won\u2019t save you this time. You\u2019ll have to get more creative.<\/p>\n

\"William<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

Try throwing your drunken-sailor vocabulary out for a week. In turn, add in some good, old-fashioned, Elizabethan insults. William Shakespeare was the king of insults. The good news is that so many people complain about not understanding his works that you may be able to hit them where it hurts without them ever being the wiser! Instead of calling that imbecile a you-know-what, throw this other word that starts with \u201cF\u201d their way: \u201cfustilarian.\u201d They mean pretty much the same thing, but the mother of the child behind you won\u2019t take her palm fast to your face for being obscene in front of her child. You won\u2019t get kicked out. You\u2019ll blow off some pent-up steam. You\u2019ll eventually get your coffee. And most importantly, that fustilarian won\u2019t get off without a word being said. That\u2019s what I like to call a win-win-win.<\/p>\n

\"Image<\/a> Of course, if \u201cfustilarian\u201d doesn\u2019t suit your fancy, there are plenty of other Elizabethan words at your disposal. Shakespeare took the time to perfectly craft some real skin-cutting insults that are now free for you to use. You can see 30 of them here: http:\/\/www.nosweatshakespeare.com\/resources\/shakespeare-insults\/<\/a>. However, if you feel like throwing your own together, take a look at this nifty list: http:\/\/www.pangloss.com\/seidel\/shake_rule.html<\/a>. Take a word of your choosing from each column, and ta-da! You have your insult. There is no cure for stupid. Or annoying. You\u2019ll have to deal with it somewhere along the lines for your entire life. You might as well get creative and have some fun with it.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019d like to come see the volumes in which some of his insults were first used, please email us at archives@ucmail.uc.edu<\/a>, visit us on the 8th floor of Blegen Library between 8:00 and 5:00, Monday through Friday, look for us on the web at www.libraries.uc.edu\/arb.html<\/a>, or follow us on Facebook at www.facebook.com\/ArchivesRareBooksLibraryUniversityOfCincinnati\/<\/a>. If you have any questions, or want to be randomly insulted with Shakespeare\u2019s words, please call us at 513.556.1959 (If you\u2019re calling for insults, please mention that specifically.)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

By: Sydney Vollmer When the stupid *$&@___ in front of you in line can\u2019t make…<\/p>\n

Read the postI\u2019m Insulted We Haven\u2019t Talked about This Sooner<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":15,"featured_media":653,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7,16],"tags":[106,105,3],"class_list":["post-652","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-shakespeare","category-shakespeare-today","tag-falstaff","tag-insults","tag-shakespeare","excerpt","zoom","full-without-featured","even","excerpt-0"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/15"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=652"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":655,"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/652\/revisions\/655"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/653"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=652"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=652"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/libapps.libraries.uc.edu\/exhibits\/shakespeare400\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=652"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}